This coffee tastes like prison

On a power walk from my apartment to the Bull Run Library I spotted a sign for

"Spanish for Fun! Join the Spanish Conversation Club! Bring your lunch and chat with new friends in Spanish over coffee and dessert. A fluent Spanish-speaker is available to help with conversation"

The time when I arrived at the library was 11:30 precisely. I spent the next half hour debating with myself over whether I should go. Lately I've become less inclined to take risks and put myself out there. I don't know if it's because of lack of confidence or lack of luck with the job search but normally it doesn't take me half an hour to convince myself to do something. At 12:01 pm I arrived back at the library having run home to throw a lunch together. I ran into the conclusion of the English conversation club and then awaited for the arrival of the Spanish Conversation club.

Overall I want to chalk this up as a mediocre experience. I had no expectations when I got there but I did not expect the unstructured style of the two hour conversations between groups of people. The tables were too close together and it was difficult to hear one another shout in Spanish across the room. No one introduced themselves to me at first nor asked where I was from or how I had come to learn Spanish. I was literally a fly on the wall. I was sitting between an elderly man who was answering a volunteer's questions about grammar with another elderly man who kept looking over and smiling at me. To my right was a Chinese woman whose voice was so clipped it was hard to hear what she was saying. Imagine when you're crying so hard you can't speak except in gasps. That was how this woman spoke except without the sobbing. To her right was a man who didn't know a lick of Spanish at all, and next to him two elderly women who volunteered for the library (the know it alls). One woman's name was Judith and I don't recall the other woman's name. To their right and directly across from me were two woman, a blonde and a brunette. The brunette was very friendly and had an easy going personality. From speaking with her and correcting her grammar and pronunciations I learned that she teaches an ESL class for first graders at a local elementary school. The blonde woman had four children and I'm not sure what she did for a living.

Throughout the two hours of conversation I felt more and more isolated. I listened to the conversations going on around me and after about 45 minutes Judith introduced herself to me (one of the elderly ladies on the side table). To pass the time I got riled up about a project I wanted to with Lydia for an open mic night. Translate Nine Inch Nails' song "Hurt" and sing it with her accompanying on guitar. I asked a few questions to Judith pertaining to the lyrics and the conversation stalled from there. The only conversation I got was from the Chinese woman who couldn't speak very well. We talked about how hot it was in Texas and how much we both hated Indian food. It's not that I didn't have a good time interacting with people but I suppose I'm more used to structured conversations like I would get in high school or college. Step one: study this lesson, Step two: break up into groups and complete this activity. It looked like that was how the English Conversation Club was ran now that I think about it. I know I should have been more interactive with everyone. There were people in the room I didn't speak to the entire time. However it was my first time and despite popular belief I am an incredibly shy person. I immediately jumped up when Judith moved to the other side of the room and took her place between the two young women. Here was where the most conversation was happening. Here was where I spent the best part of my afternoon. Unfortunately the other woman who sat next to Judith was less than friendly. I know most elders are set in their ways but I detected a hint of condescension from this woman. I felt very ignorant sitting next to her and even I had had seven years of experience speaking Spanish. However, she and Judith had been talking about the rules for adding accents to words ending with vowels and even they admitted that they could be wrong.

The worst part for me was when everyone was leaving and the elderly woman turned to "the man who knew no Spanish" and asked him if he knew anything about the Chinese woman. He said he didn't but only that she'd been coming for a few weeks. I stayed in to listen and the woman said, "I don't know if it's just me, but her accent is so hard to understand. I can't hear anything she says. And I don't know if this makes me a bad person but I was actively ignoring her the entire time." I left fuming. If this was to be my example of how librarians (supposed library volunteers) viewed patrons I wanted no part of the group.

Overall Verdict: 2.5 out of 5 - I should probably go back because I need the practice for Spanish, but I think I'll check out what's available at other branches too.